CLICK HERE FOR FREE BLOG LAYOUTS, LINK BUTTONS AND MORE! »

Friday, July 22, 2011

Sweet Talk

This evening I was lying in my bed, exhausted from the new chapter of life that awaits within me but quickly approaching. I was still with contentment as I watched my sweet girl sleep on her Daddy's pillow and wrapped in her unraveling binkie.....holes and all. I laid there watching her toss and turn and then her little eye lashes began to flutter and I knew she was struggling with trying to decide whether or not to get up or continue to enjoy her mid afternoon slumber in Mommy & Daddy's bed. I watched her gaze around the room until suddenly her eyes stopped at a collage of pictures that I had recently moved from the hallway to our bedroom wall. Then maybe one of the sweetest conversations occured.
Sadie (pointing) : Mommy, Daddy?

Me: Yes, that is when we got married.

Sadie: Married? .....as to say "What is that? That is one word I have not heard before."

Me: Married is when Mommy & Daddy said "I love You" You have a big party, wear a pretty dress,
 open presents, eat cake, and see your friends and family.

Sadie: and then she says in an as sweet & innocent as can be voice with a big smile across her face and the bat of her eyes....."that's pretty fun!"

I know in my heart she thought I meant a birthday party because that is all she knows about cake and presents but it made me stop and think that one day I will be sitting here having a very similar conversation with a bright eyed brunette that will not resemble the two year old she is today & in my heart not wanting to think about the day of giving her away.

That is what life is made of, sweet innocent conversations that transpire into our realities.

How sweet, precious and beautiful she looks! These will definitely be in her wedding album some day!



Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Dancing on my Heart


When you get older, there are few thing in life that make your heart skip a beat. Like when your a kid on Christmas morning waiting in anticipation to see what Santa has brought you. As an adult, we live day by day, moment by moment in anticipation of what our Savior has brought us. His all significant Grace can be found in the smallest most trivial things but as a mother ........in the smallest yet biggest moments that take our breath away. Like the birth of a child. So small, yet So significant in our lives journey. Your pathway in life changes instantly and so does your perspective on life and just how precious it is and every moment you get to spend watching it take shape and form in His beauty.


My heart skipped a beat recently and I knew it was the Lord holding me tightly paving my way in that moment. I live in my own turmoil for several months each year since my mother's death. So many special occasions I have to "get through" without her being there to share. Her birthday (January 27th), the birthday of my Beautiful daughter who she never met (March 31), the birthday of the daughter she brought in this world (April 16), and worst of all Mother's Day (Every May). It's a tough road to brace that others simply don't understand.


I had a whirlwind of emotions this year especially because of the anticipation of Sadie's first dance recital on the 3 year anniversary of my mother's death. I could not imagine just how I was going to be spending a day in awe of my little girl in one of her biggest moments trying to watch her on a day  that I for the past two years sit, cry, and mull over in my head every moment of that dreadful day.........the little girl (student) sitting and writing about her worry for her mother, the phone call, the words "your mother passed away 45 minutes ago," the cries, screams, tears, caskets, flowers, music, formal wear, facing people, unspoken words, adolescence lost, personal heart break that only I know or understand.
.
So on May 15th 2011, I put on a brave face, got myself out of bed and got Sadie ready for her BiG DaY! She took her bath, brushed her teeth, put her hair in rollers and we drove to the Capital Arts Theatre in Bowling Green

How sweet it was to see her all dolled up. The theme of the show was
"America" and her dance was to the "Good Ole Lollipop Ship." She honestly reminded me of a version of Minnie Mouse.

 I remember parting from her Daddy leaving clear camera instructions and waiting in the basement. I talked to some other moms as everyone got ready not really clear on how this would all happen. As the time drew closer to her debut, I remember the call to come to the stage entrance and excitedly talking to Sadie about her big dance! When we reached the stairway, I remember it being dark from the stage lighting and as we got onto the backstage area there was a translucent red light beaming from the ceiling and the Gummy Bear song playing loudly for a routine that was just starting. By the way, we still sing the Gummy Bear song all throughout the house at times. It's catchy and Sadie bounced to it while waiting and pointing at her beloved Mrs. Heather, in awe that she was dancing with colorful bears!

As I sat and watched these older little girls dance, in the dark background, I got really emotional all of a sudden. I thought about how I was sitting there on the brink of utter sadness for a loss while the Lord had given me the sweetest gift on the what I thought was the saddest day. I was about to watch my sweet girl dance with so much life (or stand there, sway a moment and cry for her mamma). But He was showing me how much He had given me on such a wretched day, the opportunity, the moment and chance to see her do these things. Sadie could have not been here for this moment or even more I could not be here. But we were here, in this beautiful magical moment and I knew He needed me to Cherish it and hold on to it instead of my sadness.  That is Grace at it's best..........

 "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,


That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now, I see


T'was Grace that taught...


my heart to fear.

And Grace, my fears relieved.

How precious did that Grace appear...

the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...


we have already come.

T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...

and Grace will lead us home.


The Lord has promised good to me...


His word my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be...

as long as life endures.
 
When we've been here ten thousand years...


bright shining as the sun.

We've no less days to sing God's praise...

then when we've first begun.
 
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,


That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now, I see."


All in all, with family there in support it was an amazing day and experience I will never forget as a mother and a believer. There was no mistake in His planning of this day being on the date that it was. He was showing me something only I could see that day and He held me throughout that day and I could here him say, "Now, do you see?"



Sunday, January 30, 2011

Locks of Love

As I stare over a brunette's uneven parted crown, the sweet aroma of Johnson's Vanilla Oatmeal wash emits through the air. With each gentle stroke of a fine toothed comb through my daughter's fine whimsy locks that curl right at the base of her neck, I am reminded of just how blessed I truely am. God chose me to be her's and chose her to be mine. What Grace that is to be given such a precious gift.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I give thanks to my God upon every remembrance of you. ~Philippians 1:2-3

Monday, October 18, 2010

Practice Makes Perfect......

It's a good thing that we are learning to walk a dog with the help of Fisher Price before taking out the real family members on their leashes......
My cousin and her family got Sadie her very own puppy for her birthday this year and she pulled him out last night and literally drug him all over the house!
 I heard her in the playroom going through her toy bag so I knew she was getting into something. Then I heard the little barking noise it makes with each turn of it's paws coming down that hall that eventually led to hard crashes of plastic against the wall as she slung him around her shoulder and arm mid air.
 I helped her figure out how to hold the string at the very end of it and pull straight out instead of straight up. It would last for one round either up or down the hall and then she was back to slinging him around. It was the funniest thing!
 Here they go and here he goes............
 up........up........
 and away.
 Here you are Momma! You can help!
I don't think Bailey and Noah know what's coming : )

Funniest Moment In our Marriage

I can remember this day like it was yesterday. Our anxious selves in anticipation of our second cruise-no limits or worries ahead of us, all that was in our thoughts were sunny skies beating down on us, the smell of sun tan lotion, the sounds of authentic caribbean music, clear blue waters, grainy warm sand between our toes and that magnificent boat that was going to carry us to of destination of pure content and happiness.

Well, as you know there has to be a means of travel, a path you take to get you where you so desperately need to be before your final destination. (Just like how God guides you through one trial and tribulation through another in life's journey) That is exactly what He did the year of 2007- because without the Grace of God, I don't know how else this trip would have been etched into our memory of the Best, yet most intimidating experience.



So- here it goes........ :)



We had a plane booked & paid for, which left out at 6:30 a.m. from Nashville and boat booked and paid for which left out at noon from Miami. As the hour reached 12:30 in the morning (THE DAY OF OUR TRIP) we stayed up in anticipation talking about our excitement of what was about to come. Well, Fabulous me had NOT packed a single thing at at 1:00 in the morning when I decided that I would just lay my head down and get up an hour early to pack and get ready. Toby tried to convince me that it was SO late and he just knew I wouldn't want to do that (because he wanted to get the truck packed and ready to go-he's the plan ahead man). So we set our clock, laid our heads on our pillows to rest for a few short hours.



Alarm went off at 4 a.m. Did I get up- NO. I hit the snooze button over and over again apparently in exhaustion/sleep deprivation & we didn't realize what was happening until Toby jumped up yelling "Oh No it's 4:30, Get UP, we are Never going to make it!" "I" was alot calmer, take things with stride kind of mood, just happy to be going on vacation- not aware of the things to come. I had an idea of what I wanted to pack from the night before, grabbed a rack of summer clothers bunched up in my closet and threw them all bundled up in my suitcase. Quickly went through my shoes bins and packed yet another suitcase of shoes and accessories (If you know me, I am a terrible packer- not light at all).



Thrilled with how fast the packing went, I just knew I had plenty of time to roll my hair in rollers and throw on a bit of make-up. The whole time, Toby is rushing me to hurry, counting down the minutes. So we go to leave and we realize the Toby has packed all of our stuff in the vehicle with NO gas, No Minute Mart open and at least 25 Miles to Franklin's nearest pump. So he throws everything in the other vehicle not realizing he has left my Brand New- Never Used- camera on the bumper of the car we are pulling out of the driveway in. Yep, you guessed it- Gone! But we had no idea it wasn't with us because it was suppose to be in my purse.



So, 5:30 a.m. we are doing literally the worst wreckless driving speed limit ever, when our gas light comes on. The whole time Toby is saying, we are never going to make it, they are going to leave without us, we are going to have to buy another ticket......... I sat calmly, stating only positives about the situation (knowing all the while that this was ALL my fault and I felt so guilty even though he never said it was my fault). 5 minutes from the gas station in Franklin , we see the blue lights behind us... uh huh he gets pulled over. Now I was living this up because (as most of you know I have a bad ticket record and Toby never gets pulled over & when he does he always gets out of them- Yet in the back of my mind was, "This is the last thing we needed for our vacation time limit here).



So we explain the entire situation to the cop, he understands, doesn't write us a ticket and offers to lead us to the closest gas station. What a Blessing! So we get gas and we are back on the road-doing terrible speed limits to catch that plane on time.



As we are pulling into the parking terminals, I ask Toby if he put my new camera in my purse. He grabs his forhead and I know immediately what he was about to say. "I" of all people had the grip of guilt so bad that I said it was ok, I have the old bulky one in the luggage bag and not to worry about it. It took forever or so it felt to find a spot to park, which was the furthest from the entrance and unload our luggage. Keep in mind I have a suitcase for clothes, a suitcase for shoes, a carry on bag plus there was Toby's suitcase and carry on bag. "ME" I was in a dress and high heels. OH MY! How were we going to do this? SO I gathered every ounce of strength that I had to lug all of my own luggage, strappin gmy carry ons to the regualr suitcases and dragging behind me, one suitcase handle in each hand and I pulled with all my might and ran with all of my heart in that dress and those heels and Toby hundreds of feet ahead of me it seemed.



The whole time we hear the intercome going off, flight ___ (don't remember that one) boarding now!



We reach midway through the parking lot and we see the concrete barrier that divides the floor levels and we realize "Oh no, we are going to have to jump!" So Toby throws all the luggage over, jumps over and then catches me mid air after I jumped. Then onward we went- you had never seen two people so determined to make it to their destination of paradise. So all stuff gathered and running, see the doors right ahead and wham, my ankle twists, gives way and I go down. Scrapped leg, busted knee and all I can do is laugh as hard as possible telling Toby I was about to pee in my pants! He says, "Are you Ok? Ok, get up lets go!" I said, "It's ok, you go ahead, they won't leave without me if you stall the plane!"



I am telling you, I was laughing so hard because I felt like I was in a movie. This could not be happening to me and guess who was the leading role- me!



So we get through those clear glass doors and to the baggage check in. The lady was SO slow and they kepted announcing that our plane was ready for take off. I asked her if she could radio up to them and tell them that we were there and needed to get on. She was like, "Uh no....." "Are you kidding me?" I said. No walkie talkie things? HA! She then continued to tell us, that we were so late, they didn't think we would make it to our plane on time and even if we did we would mosst likely never receive our luggage (it's a whole other process apparently) and it would be returned to the luggage claims deck. Huh- no clothes, no shoes, no accessories, nothing to clean with......... All I saw was us on those beaches in true authentic caribbean wear! HA! Now that would have been a sight!



So we literally run up the escalator. To our surprise, there was no one in the security check line, just us, wonder why? Maybe because they were already on their planes! HA! So we threw off our shoes, emptied our pockets and cleared the security check. "I" never put my shoes back on and that is big for me because I DO NOT go barefooted just anywhere, ESPECIALLY a public place -bluh! We ran with all our might passing each gate one by one hoping our number was next.



Then it hit us- our gate number. Silver pleated gate- closed! My heart sank, my temperature rose, my words gone...... A gentleman (our angel besides the policeman) walking by us said, "If your looking for gate_____ they moved it down one." Those words were music to our ears. Quickly my pulse was back, we said thank you and flashed a large grin and wahlah there was our gate OPEN and a lady standing there ready to take our ticket, saying "On honey hurry, the plane is ready to leave!" We were so out of breath, and like "We Know, sorry."



We made it! Uh- as we sat,all buckled up we watched closely down below trying to track our luggage being carted over and placed on our plane. We never saw it. The door shut, we prepared for take off and we were gone. We were exhausted- talk about an adrenaline rush. Then it kicked in, we may not have anything (personal belongings). We got off in Miami and waited so patiently for our luggage- we watched as everyone grabbed their belongings one by one and to our surprise, ours came out as the very last roll around. And ALL of it intacted.



What an amazing miracle. To have actually made it and so late. When we got home, our new camera had fallen off in our driveway and our neighbor across the street had picked it up and kept it for us until we came home. God is truely good. He sent us onel that day after another, he carried us safely there, made sure we had gas and a parking spot, transferred our luggage and ensured us a wonderful MOST memorable funniest moment in our marriage! The fact that we laughed through that entire stressful event and still do today- blows our minds. The power of God is definitely all around us and in all we do :)